The Angel

I remember seeing her pictures for the first time

An angel in a cowboy hat

A babe in a bikers vest

Her blue eyes dancing as she smiled.

I wanted her then

Her beauty and sexuality enthralled me

But something wasn't ready

I wasn't ready

I saw her again some time later

I saw her in another place, another time

I asked her to talk to me.

She did.

We talked several times

I found myself liking her

I knew I was attracted to her

I knew I wanted to meet her

I asked her out

I remember waiting for the the date to begin

I remember my heart pounding as I waited for the door to open

My angel was waiting on the other side

She asked me to tell her a story

She was shy and nervous

She wanted me to talk so she could listen to me

She wanted to hear my voice

I talked more and she listened as we waited for dinner

She talked some more and I listened

We joked and had fun

We went to our next place

We drank and joked

I sang a song for her and I asked her to dance

I took her home and walked inside with her

We kissed

The passion was firey, explosive

We could have done so much more that night

But we didn't

We waited

We saw each other 5 more times

Over the next few days

We saw something in each other

We wanted in our lives

We saw each other when I returned from my hometown

We were together then

We wanted to be with each other

We fell in love

I said it first

I knew it would take a long time for her to say it

But she did

And I felt my heart racing as she said it

We brought our families together

And started to build a life

I asked her to marry me, in a most unlikely place

She said yes

But we would have to wait

Things had to slow down

We lived together

I was willing to wait

But I made mistakes

I let That One back into my life when I should have known better

I saw That One with out telling my Angel

The first most awful mistake - the lie

Nothing happened, but I violated her trust

She was heartbroken and I lost her trust

That was the first loss

But not the last

She gave me another chance

and I sent That One away forever

Never to darken my life again

And I wanted to start over with my Angel

I made a second mistake

I helped a friend

Not that it was a bad thing

But I didn't tell her about it

She felt that I put someone else's needs ahead of hers

I should have just told her about it

But I thought that it didn't matter

But it showed that I didn't share everything with her

Again she was hurt

Again I apologized but I should have known better

Again she gave me another chance

Again I wanted to rebuild

My final, fatal mistake

Was not listening to her

I knew she wanted us to share this particular event

If I had been thinking as a best friend...

But I didn't

I put my childish games ahead of her

I didn't go with her

I should have gone...

Someone else went

He showed her the attention I should have

She felt a spark

I lost my Angel...

Now I'm alone

Relegated to "a friend"

And all I want

is my Angel back.

I know now that I love her

Deeper than I ever realized

If I ever get another chance

I won't waste it.

But I will be there

whenever she needs me

and if she says "Come home", she needs to know

My heart never left...