Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Angel

I remember seeing her pictures for the first time
An angel in a cowboy hat
A babe in a bikers vest
Her blue eyes dancing as she smiled.

I wanted her then
Her beauty and sexuality enthralled me
But something wasn't ready
I wasn't ready

I saw her again some time later
I saw her in another place, another time
I asked her to talk to me.
She did.

We talked several times
I found myself liking her
I knew I was attracted to her
I knew I wanted to meet her

I asked her out
I remember waiting for the the date to begin
I remember my heart pounding as I waited for the door to open
My angel was waiting on the other side

She asked me to tell her a story
She was shy and nervous
She wanted me to talk so she could listen to me
She wanted to hear my voice

I talked more and she listened as we waited for dinner
She talked some more and I listened
We joked and had fun
We went to our next place

We drank and joked
I sang a song for her and I asked her to dance
I took her home and walked inside with her
We kissed

The passion was firey, explosive
We could have done so much more that night
But we didn't
We waited

We saw each other 5 more times
Over the next few days
We saw something in each other
We wanted in our lives

We saw each other when I returned from my hometown
We were together then
We wanted to be with each other
We fell in love

I said it first
I knew it would take a long time for her to say it
But she did
And I felt my heart racing as she said it

We brought our families together
And started to build a life
I asked her to marry me, in a most unlikely place
She said yes

But we would have to wait
Things had to slow down
We lived together
I was willing to wait

But I made mistakes
I let That One back into my life when I should have known better
I saw That One with out telling my Angel
The first most awful mistake - the lie

Nothing happened, but I violated her trust
She was heartbroken and I lost her trust
That was the first loss
But not the last

She gave me another chance
and I sent That One away forever
Never to darken my life again
And I wanted to start over with my Angel

I made a second mistake
I helped a friend
Not that it was a bad thing
But I didn't tell her about it

She felt that I put someone else's needs ahead of hers
I should have just told her about it
But I thought that it didn't matter
But it showed that I didn't share everything with her

Again she was hurt
Again I apologized but I should have known better
Again she gave me another chance
Again I wanted to rebuild

My final, fatal mistake
Was not listening to her
I knew she wanted us to share this particular event
If I had been thinking as a best friend...

But I didn't
I put my childish games ahead of her
I didn't go with her
I should have gone...

Someone else went
He showed her the attention I should have
She felt a spark
I lost my Angel...

Now I'm alone
Relegated to "a friend"
And all I want
is my Angel back.

I know now that I love her
Deeper than I ever realized
If I ever get another chance
I won't waste it.

But I will be there
whenever she needs me
and if she says "Come home", she needs to know
My heart never left...

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