Are you [BLEEP]ing kidding me???

Sometimes, being a customer support technician really sucks. Occasionally, the customer is polite, courteous, and helpful. Sometimes they are just off the wall nucking futs. And sometimes, they are actively hostile and abusive. Those are usually the worst. Today, however, I had a blast of what I call "unholy glee" when dealing with one of these individuals. Here's how the discussion went:

TS: "Thank you for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?"

IC(INCOMING CALL): "We're having problems with our email and you need to fix it right now!"

[I gather contact info and account info to open the ticket and then continue]

TS: "What problem are you having sir?"

IC: "We aren't receiving emails at all. I have forwards to my att account in place and I haven't seen any emails in days. You people have to fix this right now, you're costing me thousands of dollars every minute!"

[Aside: Why do they always say that this is costing them THOUSANDS of dollars a minute? Do they think it makes us work any faster?]

TS: "Can you confirm the email server settings you are using?"

IC (sighs): We're using the same servers we've been using for the last 3 years, since we switched over to you people! God, don't you people know anything? I should switch over to ATT..."

TS (facepalms): "Sir, I need you to confirm the settings."

IC: "I'm using pop.********.net and smtp.********.net!"

TS: "Sir, those servers were decommissioned back in october. The forwards for those servers are gone now. You need to be using pop.********.net and smtp.********.net."

IC: "Why didn't anybody tell us this was going to happen?"

TS: "EMails and letters were sent from August to October of last year notifying of the change, sir. What is your domain name for email?"

[Gentle readers, please note that I don't take anything he has said personally, I just suck it up and move on]

IC: "********.com! Now fix my email before I hang up and call back to talk to your supervisor!"

[I run the domain name through the domain dossier tool at centralops.net. only to find that this domain expired 12 days ago. An evil grin spreads across my face]

TS: "Sir, this domain expired 12 days ago. You won't get any email until the domain is restored."

IC: "So restore it already! God, what am I paying you idiots for?"

TS: "We don't handle any domain registration, sir. You have to contact your registrar, who is ******, and discuss getting the registration renewed."

[long pause]

TS: "Sir, is there anything ELSE I can assist you with today?"

IC (sounding like he's just been embarassed all to aitch-e-double toothpicks) : "uh, no, thank you very much."

[CLICK]

I'm now in full-on unholy glee mode. I know I won't quit smiling for at least an hour now. I finish noting the ticket and save it so I have proof that the customer's problem is not our issue.

What a honyock.